WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!

[Highway Dave]

Just a little rant
Have not been charged customs etc for the last five deliveries from jauce Japan, happy days
NO, this one being only slightly larger has incurred charges in the region of £152…… friggin fuckwits

 

[Deand]

Just a little rant
Have not been charged customs etc for the last five deliveries from jauce Japan, happy days
NO, this one being only slightly larger has incurred charges in the region of £152…… friggin fuckwits

£152 customs ouch! how much did you spend ?

 

[Highway Dave]

£152 customs ouch! how much did you spend ?

Think jauce must have put all my items in one box making it oversize
Will stick to ordering separately in future
We live and learn lol

 

[RuskinStreet]

Lol I know mate, this is how I got to see him on the news, I don't follow him on his socials

Ps where the heck have you been?

I don't do the news anymore, fed up with listening about covid, brexit and every other "crisis" facing this country. Old Billy-boy being shot into space passed me by completely....

 

[RuskinStreet]

kieth the bolts were for a VW

wash your mouth out with soap @Bob Edwards! HOW DARE YOU SULLY THIS FINE FORUM WITH YOUR VW RELATED MISHAPS!!!!

 

[RuskinStreet]

Mum served in 305 Uncle flew in 305 and they had friends in 303 and 302 they didn't rate the French and I do have French heritage so am allowed to slag them off ;o)))

and to be honest having a French surname is karma enough so be careful what you wish for in life, reminds me I need to go to that Inn in Cornwall that's run by the Jamaicans....

Out of interest, how did a London Polak end up with a French surname?

 

[RuskinStreet]

That made me laugh It's so funny to think of elgrands passing eachother, wipers going in the middle of a heatwave and them both pissing themselves knowing eachother Fu...d up lol

I find waving is much easier but none of us notice as we are too busy looking at the fuel gauge

 

[diable]

Out of interest, how did a London Polak end up with a French surname?

Poland back in the day was more alligned with France, never really looked in to it.

 

[RuskinStreet]

Poland back in the day was more alligned with France, never really looked in to it.

bit like Scotland then

 

[diable]

bit like Scotland then

We maybe piss heads but at least we are piss heads with a touch of class.

 

[Steve Thompson]

So I get a phone call - can you service my machine?
Q. Yes when do you want me?
A. ASAP but first we need check you out with companies house, then we have to do a due diligence on your company and check with some current reference customers.
Then we have to set you up as a supplier.
After that, can you send us the attached Covid check form, overseas visitor locator form, your vaccination certificate, your company liability certificate, the attached pre-induction form, your general 'risk assessment form' , a specific 'risk assessment form' for this job (16 pages!!) and your 'method statement' ..... Please!
A. Yeah sure.

Get on site and I have to redo the covid check form because it's out of date already.
Then the 1 hour induction video starts.
Then the induction quiz questionnaire has to be completed.
Then the H&S site tour.
Then PPE training.
Then meet the team.
Then complete the 'safestart' quick risk prediction form.
Then the on site 'contractor work locator' form.
Eventually sort out responsibility for 'LOTO' (Lock Out Tag Out).
Then.. Finally... I get my permit to work.
For today.... And its 1pm!!!!!!
FFS!
It's only a Fkin toothbrush factory!!!!!!!!
Grrrrrrrr

 

[Highway Dave]

So I get a phone call - can you service my machine?
Q. Yes when do you want me?
A. ASAP but first we need check you out with companies house, then we have to do a due diligence on your company and check with some current reference customers.
Then we have to set you up as a supplier.
After that, can you send us the attached Covid check form, overseas visitor locator form, your vaccination certificate, your company liability certificate, the attached pre-induction form, your general 'risk assessment form' , a specific 'risk assessment form' for this job (16 pages!!) and your 'method statement' ..... Please!
A. Yeah sure.

Get on site and I have to redo the covid check form because it's out of date already.
Then the 1 hour induction video starts.
Then the induction quiz questionnaire has to be completed.
Then the H&S site tour.
Then PPE training.
Then meet the team.
Then complete the 'safestart' quick risk prediction form.
Then the on site 'contractor work locator' form.
Eventually sort out responsibility for 'LOTO' (Lock Out Tag Out).
Then.. Finally... I get my permit to work.
For today.... And its 1pm!!!!!!
FFS!
It's only a Fkin toothbrush factory!!!!!!!!
Grrrrrrrr

Sorry for laughing but that last line tickled me

 

[Steve Thompson]

So my normal machine service becomes a 'oh..... by the way, we do have some other problems we haven't told you about' !!!!
FFS!!!!
Here we go.......
Sort a bit of it out then cut my finger.
Not bad, the sort of cut Simon gets 3 times a day.
No problem.
But someone sees it!!!!
FFS!!!!!
3 First aiders and the crash trolley turn up!!!!!
I have to sit down with a nurse for 20 mins!!!!!
Two sets of H&S people turn up, take photos & statements.
Top brass turn up to take a statement to assess the situation.
FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU.
I'VE GOT A MACHINE TO FIX.....
Gotta go back tomorrow now.

 

[Elgrandonaut]

So I get a phone call - can you service my machine?
Q. Yes when do you want me?
A. ASAP but first we need check you out with companies house, then we have to do a due diligence on your company and check with some current reference customers.
Then we have to set you up as a supplier.
After that, can you send us the attached Covid check form, overseas visitor locator form, your vaccination certificate, your company liability certificate, the attached pre-induction form, your general 'risk assessment form' , a specific 'risk assessment form' for this job (16 pages!!) and your 'method statement' ..... Please!
A. Yeah sure.

Get on site and I have to redo the covid check form because it's out of date already.
Then the 1 hour induction video starts.
Then the induction quiz questionnaire has to be completed.
Then the H&S site tour.
Then PPE training.
Then meet the team.
Then complete the 'safestart' quick risk prediction form.
Then the on site 'contractor work locator' form.
Eventually sort out responsibility for 'LOTO' (Lock Out Tag Out).
Then.. Finally... I get my permit to work.
For today.... And its 1pm!!!!!!
FFS!
It's only a Fkin toothbrush factory!!!!!!!!
Grrrrrrrr

They had to make sure you're whiter than white!!

 

[Elgrandonaut]

So my normal machine service becomes a 'oh..... by the way, we do have some other problems we haven't told you about' !!!!
FFS!!!!
Here we go.......
Sort a bit of it out then cut my finger.
Not bad, the sort of cut Simon gets 3 times a day.
No problem.
But someone sees it!!!!
FFS!!!!!
3 First aiders and the crash trolley turn up!!!!!
I have to sit down with a nurse for 20 mins!!!!!
Two sets of H&S people turn up, take photos & statements.
Top brass turn up to take a statement to assess the situation.
FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU.
I'VE GOT A MACHINE TO FIX.....
Gotta go back tomorrow now.

I bet you were seeing red!?

 

[Londonglide]

Being a service engineer travelling to Hospitals around London with the Covid requirements of individual locations all being different, has been an absolute Hoot, especially when you drive across London, only to find Doris emailed you the wrong version of the Covid docs, so can you come back another time, well yes, but your vital piece of kit is down, and I may not be back soon.....oh, maybe the forms are not critical?, yes I did do a test at the last site...Negative...oh OK, come in but don't go near the patients.....Glad to have retired since end of Aug....

 

[Gwilo365]

So my normal machine service becomes a 'oh..... by the way, we do have some other problems we haven't told you about' !!!!
FFS!!!!
Here we go.......
Sort a bit of it out then cut my finger.
Not bad, the sort of cut Simon gets 3 times a day.
No problem.
But someone sees it!!!!
FFS!!!!!
3 First aiders and the crash trolley turn up!!!!!
I have to sit down with a nurse for 20 mins!!!!!
Two sets of H&S people turn up, take photos & statements.
Top brass turn up to take a statement to assess the situation.
FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU.
I'VE GOT A MACHINE TO FIX.....
Gotta go back tomorrow now.

I love H&S... Did some shadowing on a construction site with an on-site paramedic.... The reports for minor cuts were the stuff of legend.... " The victim/casualty sustained injuries to...."
Like he was writing a postmortem on a corpse.

Hopefully all this time is billable, though @Steve Thompson ? In which case, think of the moolah. Helps me when things are a little stupefying

 

[diable]

So I get a phone call - can you service my machine?
Q. Yes when do you want me?
A. ASAP but first we need check you out with companies house, then we have to do a due diligence on your company and check with some current reference customers.
Then we have to set you up as a supplier.
After that, can you send us the attached Covid check form, overseas visitor locator form, your vaccination certificate, your company liability certificate, the attached pre-induction form, your general 'risk assessment form' , a specific 'risk assessment form' for this job (16 pages!!) and your 'method statement' ..... Please!
A. Yeah sure.

Get on site and I have to redo the covid check form because it's out of date already.
Then the 1 hour induction video starts.
Then the induction quiz questionnaire has to be completed.
Then the H&S site tour.
Then PPE training.
Then meet the team.
Then complete the 'safestart' quick risk prediction form.
Then the on site 'contractor work locator' form.
Eventually sort out responsibility for 'LOTO' (Lock Out Tag Out).
Then.. Finally... I get my permit to work.
For today.... And its 1pm!!!!!!
FFS!
It's only a Fkin toothbrush factory!!!!!!!!
Grrrrrrrr

Do you trim tooth brush heads to the required EU regulations?

 

[diable]

Being a service engineer travelling to Hospitals around London with the Covid requirements of individual locations all being different, has been an absolute Hoot, especially when you drive across London, only to find Doris emailed you the wrong version of the Covid docs, so can you come back another time, well yes, but your vital piece of kit is down, and I may not be back soon.....oh, maybe the forms are not critical?, yes I did do a test at the last site...Negative...oh OK, come in but don't go near the patients.....Glad to have retired since end of Aug....

Reminds me of driving to Covent Garden years back parking the car up then traipsing up 3 flights of stairs in a narrow building and the snotty political lobbyist looking down on me and saying the printer doesn't work, I looked at her and said "thats the photocopier" filed out my form and left went to lunch as the parking was paid for, Covent Garden was cool then.

 

[Steve Thompson]

I love H&S... Did some shadowing on a construction site with an on-site paramedic.... The reports for minor cuts were the stuff of legend.... " The victim/casualty sustained injuries to...."
Like he was writing a postmortem on a corpse.

Hopefully all this time is billable, though @Steve Thompson ? In which case, think of the moolah. Helps me when things are a little stupefying

Trick of life is to turn the shit to your advantage.
So I'm charging them for another day on site.
Oh and another overnight charge (but I'm in the Elgrand...... don't tell em, they think I'm in the hotel down the road - I am...... in the car park! Ha.)