Overcoming Social Anxiety and getting to a meet

[Kermit]

@Kermit have you tried to get an appointment in these post-covid times?

Yes I've had some 'issues' recently, Dr was concerned so I saw her the same day, give them a call and stop being a dick.

 

[mikkb]

I now make a ten mile round trip almost every other day because I can't remember if I locked the door or set the alarm at work. Every time (up to now) I have. At current fuel prices my dementia is costing me a fiver in E5 every time

Just a suggestion; how about you carefully record yourself on your phone locking the door and setting the alarm. Then when you get home watch the recording to satisfy yourself you did it, delete the recording and relax. Repeat next day. Worth a try?

 

[Mark76e]

Yes I've had some 'issues' recently, Dr was concerned so I saw her the same day, give them a call and stop being a dick.

Men don't like doctors though!
I called mine recently and had an appointment the very same afternoon.
After asking why they saw me so quickly, given that family and friends are waiting weeks or months for an appointment my Dr said that it's been so many years since I've been in, he assumed it must be serious!
(it kind of wasn't though)

 

[RuskinStreet]

Just a suggestion; how about you carefully record yourself on your phone locking the door and setting the alarm. Then when you get home watch the recording to satisfy yourself you did it, delete the recording and relax. Repeat next day. Worth a try?

Good shout @mikkb but....state of things at the moment though is if I check it then delete it, then remember to check the video, I don't remember deleting it......aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh

 

[Kermit]

Men don't like doctors though!
I called mine recently and had an appointment the very same afternoon.
After asking why they saw me so quickly, given that family and friends are waiting weeks or months for an appointment my Dr said that it's been so many years since I've been in, he assumed it must be serious!
(it kind of wasn't though)

Yeah same as Nige he hasn't been since he was a toddler lol.
Dr saw him the same day, cancer scare, tests etc. Fingers crossed all good.
Best to get checked out then you can relax.

 

[RuskinStreet]

Men don't like doctors though!
I called mine recently and had an appointment the very same afternoon.
After asking why they saw me so quickly, given that family and friends are waiting weeks or months for an appointment my Dr said that it's been so many years since I've been in, he assumed it must be serious!
(it kind of wasn't though)

I get that point mate, fully! That's half my trouble, put up with shit and don't complain. Not very good at explaining but good at putting up with shite

 

[Kermit]

I get that point mate, fully! That's half my trouble, put up with shit and don't complain. Not very good at explaining but good at putting up with shite

Keith you are joking, you are on here every day bloody complaining about something lol.

 

[Mark76e]

Keith - just do as you're told mate!

 

[RuskinStreet]

Keith you are joking, you are on here every day bloody complaining about something lol.

mainly about feckin women telling me what to do lol

 

[Kermit]

mainly about feckin women telling me what to do lol

Do I need to talk to your partner, get them to call the Dr for you?

 

[Chuchu]

I have been mulling over whether to post this, and have thought long and hard about it. @Kermit comments about how we are putting ourselves out here made me that I could or should and I hope @Mark76e @Chasdad @Elliematt83 @Karl (to name a few) can give me a better perspective/ understanding.

So here goes…
My son is really anxious and since the covid lockdowns it’s got worse. He’s 11 and in my mind should have the world at his taking (and this is probably where I am going wrong). I don’t understand where the anxiety has come from and therefore cannot fix it, yes I know typical control freak. Where I really struggle is emphasising with him, and to be clear and so you all don’t think I’m some kind of shit dick dad I don’t pressure him to do anything he doesn’t want to, and support him fully, and will always have his back. I just want to understand how he feels so I can support him more/ better, and if possible alleviate his anxiety before it starts to build up.

All advice greatly received as he’s my boy, I love him, and I would rip the world off its axis if I thought it would help him.

Stu

 

[RuskinStreet]

Do I need to talk to your partner, get them to call the Dr for you?

@Kermit, I will make the call myself, but thanks for your kind offer.......

 

[Kermit]

@Kermit, I will make the call myself, but thanks for your kind offer.......

Good lad you know it makes sense.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye lol.

 

[Chuchu]

Good lad you know it makes sense.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye lol.

Plus your fun will stay like that if the wind changes

 

[Kermit]

I have been mulling over whether to post this, and have thought long and hard about it. @Kermit comments about how we are putting ourselves out here made me that I could or should and I hope @Mark76e @Chasdad @Elliematt83 @Karl (to name a few) can give me a better perspective/ understanding.

So here goes…
My son is really anxious and since the covid lockdowns it’s got worse. He’s 11 and in my mind should have the world at his taking (and this is probably where I am going wrong). I don’t understand where the anxiety has come from and therefore cannot fix it, yes I know typical control freak. Where I really struggle is emphasising with him, and to be clear and so you all don’t think I’m some kind of shit dick dad I don’t pressure him to do anything he doesn’t want to, and support him fully, and will always have his back. I just want to understand how he feels so I can support him more/ better, and if possible alleviate his anxiety before it starts to build up.

All advice greatly received as he’s my boy, I love him, and I would rip the world off its axis if I thought it would help him.

Stu

Stu this is awful for you all to go through. It is so common these days too. Have you heard of Young Minds? https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline-and-webchat/

 

[RuskinStreet]

I have been mulling over whether to post this, and have thought long and hard about it. @Kermit comments about how we are putting ourselves out here made me that I could or should and I hope @Mark76e @Chasdad @Elliematt83 @Karl (to name a few) can give me a better perspective/ understanding.

So here goes…
My son is really anxious and since the covid lockdowns it’s got worse. He’s 11 and in my mind should have the world at his taking (and this is probably where I am going wrong). I don’t understand where the anxiety has come from and therefore cannot fix it, yes I know typical control freak. Where I really struggle is emphasising with him, and to be clear and so you all don’t think I’m some kind of shit dick dad I don’t pressure him to do anything he doesn’t want to, and support him fully, and will always have his back. I just want to understand how he feels so I can support him more/ better, and if possible alleviate his anxiety before it starts to build up.

All advice greatly received as he’s my boy, I love him, and I would rip the world off its axis if I thought it would help him.

Stu

Mate, don't know where to begin. You sound like a great dad who wants to support his child. These days there is no shame in seeking professional guidance without your lad feeling that you are interfering. Anxiety is a terrible thing and totally misunderstood by a lot of people.
I will DM you..

 

[Lize]

Good to see you @Madcalc

 

[Lpgc]

@lpg

....I came up with the idea of an ignition coil per spark plug one morning, wind turbines down central reservations generating electricity and several other fanciful schemes. First time I've ever mentioned it publicly as no bugger will believe me.....

I believe it, from being a kid I've also thought of all sorts of things before they were invented... Keyboards/synths that play sampled real instruments, quantisers, the internet (though not http or www - but used to send programs and data to mates a few streets over using phone/radio and set up a means of being able to type messages to each other), loads of car and LPG related stuff - saw direct injection engines, small turbo engines in big cars etc coming, micro-controllers in white goods, electric cars, a kind of H class amp, a kind of digital amp, digital oscilloscopes, etc. I had a light in the shed running off a home made lead/acid battery charged by a homemade wind turbine when I was little... got my grandma to buy me the sulfuric acid and got the lead from the roof of a derelict building (which er later turned out not to be derelict and re-opened as a wmc but I thought it was to be demolished), 'dynamo' motor from a broken toy lol.

 

[Chuchu]

Stu this is awful for you all to go through. It is so common these days too. Have you heard of Young Minds? https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline-and-webchat/

Mate, don't know where to begin. You sound like a great dad who wants to support his child. These days there is no shame in seeking professional guidance without your lad feeling that you are interfering. Anxiety is a terrible thing and totally misunderstood by a lot of people.
I will DM you..

Thanks both, this forum is the forum that keeps on giving.

 

[Mark76e]

I have been mulling over whether to post this, and have thought long and hard about it. @Kermit comments about how we are putting ourselves out here made me that I could or should and I hope @Mark76e @Chasdad @Elliematt83 @Karl (to name a few) can give me a better perspective/ understanding.

So here goes…
My son is really anxious and since the covid lockdowns it’s got worse. He’s 11 and in my mind should have the world at his taking (and this is probably where I am going wrong). I don’t understand where the anxiety has come from and therefore cannot fix it, yes I know typical control freak. Where I really struggle is emphasising with him, and to be clear and so you all don’t think I’m some kind of shit dick dad I don’t pressure him to do anything he doesn’t want to, and support him fully, and will always have his back. I just want to understand how he feels so I can support him more/ better, and if possible alleviate his anxiety before it starts to build up.

All advice greatly received as he’s my boy, I love him, and I would rip the world off its axis if I thought it would help him.

Stu

I didn't reply last night because I thought I'd reflect on this. Everyone's situation, experiences and make-up is unique so I can only really offer my thoughts based on what my family went through.
My oldest son is 11 and he's not struggled too much with anxiety and stress through the lockdowns, but he has two younger brothers 7 and 4 and they're like the 3 amigos, they never really got lonely.
One thing we did as a family and still do is to get into nature as much as we can, away from the city. We did self learning projects all through the lockdowns on things like mushrooms, trees, birds etc...
I soon saw that cabin fever would set in with the boys and they would start acting up if we didn't get out for a walk.
The effects of the past few years has been extreme on many families. Our family, with my wife shielding and already having major health anxiety, well we were totally locked down. Didn't see anyone even grandparents in person for over 2 years. Looking back it was utter madness but at the time...
It taken it's toll on all of our relationships and we're still today rebuilding them with lots of honest talk, tears and laughter.
Let's face it, we lost years. To me at 46, two years isn't much. At 11, two years is forever though and I know my 11 year old feels upset that he's lost out, with talking it over though and with us taking steps to rebuild friendships that stagnated, he's much more positive now.
Kids need to talk about what's gone on just as much as we adults do, and it's not easy to get them to open up. With mine it can take hours even days to get them to start talking but I really find that giving the digital world a break and going getting muddy helps them to open up!