I've put a post up previously regarding social anxiety, and I've had more than a few messages saying thank you for sharing it, so I thought I would put something here along with some guidelines for people to help get you through it and become more involved with the club (and life).
For those who don't know what social anxiety is, you may not have heard of it, or it may be that you just don't understand it. It's that feeling of knowing you want to get to a meet, maybe saying you're interested, then either not committing, or pulling out close to the date if you have committed. You'll make up an excuse that no one can argue... for example "sorry, car broke down this morning"... or "there's been a family emergency, sorry"... or you may just not turn up and not say anything at all.
If you have been reading through this forum, chatting with fellow members, feeling like you've made a connection, and then been sat looking at the write ups and pictures from meets we've attended feeling like you've missed out... well the only person stopping you, is YOU.
I have been dealing with social anxiety now for years. I have worked in the same place for the last 8 years, and I still get anxiety when it comes to social events with the people I've worked with for so long. Why? I don't know. I hate it. It's crippling. I find myself running out of excuses not to attend social events, because, I just panic. Now in all honesty, I don't think that will ever go away with the people I work with, because I have NOTHING in common with most of them. The odd one or two I get along with on a social level, but not enough to make me want to overcome my anxiety.
Things within ElgrandOC have been very different. For me, going to a meet with you guys means I know that before I even get there, we have a common interest. It gives us a talking point and a way to break the ice.
The members here have been some of the best people I have ever met, and some of my closest friends I have met through this club. There have been very very few people that I've met and not really got on with... Most of the people I have met I now talk to on a regular basis.
Now... as ElgrandOC has grown, so has our attendance at meets. Even small local meets are now attended by 10+ Elgrand's and however many people. That can be a BIG step for ANYONE, whether they have an issue with social anxiety or not. Especially if you are going to that meet as a new member knowing that everyone else has already met. I got frustrated last year that there weren't more people going to meets, and it took me a little time to realise that it's probably not just me that suffers with social anxiety... and that in all honesty, there are probably a LOT of members here who are desperate to get out and attend events with us, but can't get over that hurdle... then when you see the list of attendees getting bigger and bigger... the problem spirals, and you know you could never do it.
So, what I would like to see this year, and thanks to
@Easy Rider for the suggestion, is Impromtu meets with small groups of 2-3 people.
We have the regional chat sections now so you can get to know members local to you. And then you can either arrange an impromptu meet to invite anyone else in the area to come, or arrange something between 2-3 people via PM. It does not have to be an open invitation for everyone to attend... just small numbers to get you feeling comfortable with a small group of new people, even if it's just one on one.
What you can do then is ease yourself into other events, if you want to. Maybe meet up a few times with same small group of people, and have a coffee, a cake, a chat etc. Once you feel comfortable with meeting the same small group of people, you can arrange to go to a bigger meet with at least one of them. Then, you know that at least when you get to one of the larger meets, you are going to have someone you know you can talk to.
That said... for anyone out there who just wants to throw caution to the wind and dive in at the deep end... please do. There are so many fantastic people here in this group that you won't go far wrong. Everyone is welcoming, no one is cliquey (not that I've met), and we are all in it for the same reason. To have a laugh, chat about our cars, show them off, make friends, and make memories.
If anyone wants to chat about social anxiety issues, feel free to PM me, or any of the club staff members. We're all approachable, and we will all give you the time you need to help you along your Elgrand journey.
And for those of you who just don't want to be part of the meets and events, that's cool too. There is no pressure for any one person to attend any meets or events. But I really would advise it... the things you learn, the people you meet... it's worth it. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it.
Hope this helps a little.
), as I don't mind talking, meeting anyone. Always the one told off in class for incessant talking etc.
!
