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Overcoming Social Anxiety and getting to a meet

Funny because I've possibly had the most elgrands on here.
You'll be fine. They're a good bunch
 
I didn't realise that everyone Waves to each other. I've got the idea now but the first couple of times I was so freaked out 😂 never in my like 25 car history over 10 years have I ever had that. It's nice though! X
 
lucymegan said:
I didn't realise that everyone Waves to each other. I've got the idea now but the first couple of times I was so freaked out 😂 never in my like 25 car history over 10 years have I ever had that. It's nice though! X
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They don't me. As I've got a VW transporter too.im the black sheep
 
lucymegan said:
I didn't realise that everyone Waves to each other. I've got the idea now but the first couple of times I was so freaked out 😂 never in my like 25 car history over 10 years have I ever had that. It's nice though! X
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Ooh I did not know this, we’re used to it as one of our other cars is a Mark 1 Mazda MX5 🤣
 
lucymegan said:
I didn't realise that everyone Waves to each other. I've got the idea now but the first couple of times I was so freaked out 😂 never in my like 25 car history over 10 years have I ever had that. It's nice though! X
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Saw another Elgrand for first time on route to the beach yesterday, it was just instinctive to wave toot cheer and then pull in behind for a little Elgrand convoy for a few junctions .... So cool 😎
 
Karl said:
I've put a post up previously regarding social anxiety, and I've had more than a few messages saying thank you for sharing it, so I thought I would put something here along with some guidelines for people to help get you through it and become more involved with the club (and life).

For those who don't know what social anxiety is, you may not have heard of it, or it may be that you just don't understand it. It's that feeling of knowing you want to get to a meet, maybe saying you're interested, then either not committing, or pulling out close to the date if you have committed. You'll make up an excuse that no one can argue... for example "sorry, car broke down this morning"... or "there's been a family emergency, sorry"... or you may just not turn up and not say anything at all.

If you have been reading through this forum, chatting with fellow members, feeling like you've made a connection, and then been sat looking at the write ups and pictures from meets we've attended feeling like you've missed out... well the only person stopping you, is YOU.

I have been dealing with social anxiety now for years. I have worked in the same place for the last 8 years, and I still get anxiety when it comes to social events with the people I've worked with for so long. Why? I don't know. I hate it. It's crippling. I find myself running out of excuses not to attend social events, because, I just panic. Now in all honesty, I don't think that will ever go away with the people I work with, because I have NOTHING in common with most of them. The odd one or two I get along with on a social level, but not enough to make me want to overcome my anxiety.

Things within ElgrandOC have been very different. For me, going to a meet with you guys means I know that before I even get there, we have a common interest. It gives us a talking point and a way to break the ice.

The members here have been some of the best people I have ever met, and some of my closest friends I have met through this club. There have been very very few people that I've met and not really got on with... Most of the people I have met I now talk to on a regular basis.

Now... as ElgrandOC has grown, so has our attendance at meets. Even small local meets are now attended by 10+ Elgrand's and however many people. That can be a BIG step for ANYONE, whether they have an issue with social anxiety or not. Especially if you are going to that meet as a new member knowing that everyone else has already met. I got frustrated last year that there weren't more people going to meets, and it took me a little time to realise that it's probably not just me that suffers with social anxiety... and that in all honesty, there are probably a LOT of members here who are desperate to get out and attend events with us, but can't get over that hurdle... then when you see the list of attendees getting bigger and bigger... the problem spirals, and you know you could never do it.

So, what I would like to see this year, and thanks to @Easy Rider for the suggestion, is Impromtu meets with small groups of 2-3 people.

We have the regional chat sections now so you can get to know members local to you. And then you can either arrange an impromptu meet to invite anyone else in the area to come, or arrange something between 2-3 people via PM. It does not have to be an open invitation for everyone to attend... just small numbers to get you feeling comfortable with a small group of new people, even if it's just one on one.

What you can do then is ease yourself into other events, if you want to. Maybe meet up a few times with same small group of people, and have a coffee, a cake, a chat etc. Once you feel comfortable with meeting the same small group of people, you can arrange to go to a bigger meet with at least one of them. Then, you know that at least when you get to one of the larger meets, you are going to have someone you know you can talk to.

That said... for anyone out there who just wants to throw caution to the wind and dive in at the deep end... please do. There are so many fantastic people here in this group that you won't go far wrong. Everyone is welcoming, no one is cliquey (not that I've met), and we are all in it for the same reason. To have a laugh, chat about our cars, show them off, make friends, and make memories.

If anyone wants to chat about social anxiety issues, feel free to PM me, or any of the club staff members. We're all approachable, and we will all give you the time you need to help you along your Elgrand journey.

And for those of you who just don't want to be part of the meets and events, that's cool too. There is no pressure for any one person to attend any meets or events. But I really would advise it... the things you learn, the people you meet... it's worth it. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it.

Hope this helps a little.
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Awesome post. 👌
 
guess im lucky but i don't give a damm about going anywhere, but wish ppl the best getting over it,
 
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I get riddled with anxiety quite easily. Even if I'm in company with friends, it can creep in. My coping mechanism is to try to make people laugh. Don't really know why? Probably some past childhood events that have gone on. I moved around a bit when I was younger, too. Having to make new friends then always stressed me out. Apparently, I mask it quite well 🤷🏼‍♂️.
I went to my first Elgrand meet a week ago. I must say, the owners I met are a great bunch, and this forum on the whole is really welcoming. I'm not totally clued up with mechanics, but I can get by. Having reliable sources of information and some real solid experience within the group really changes the game of Elgrand ownership (apart from needing to earn another 10 grand a year to keep the bastard on the road 😅😭).

Maybe we can have an Anxiety meet up? We'll all pull up into a car park and just sit in our buses with the curtains closed 😅.....sorry, that's the coping mechanism slipping out.
 
Holdfast4130 said:
I get riddled with anxiety quite easily. Even if I'm in company with friends, it can creep in. My coping mechanism is to try to make people laugh. Don't really know why? Probably some past childhood events that have gone on. I moved around a bit when I was younger, too. Having to make new friends then always stressed me out. Apparently, I mask it quite well 🤷🏼‍♂️.
I went to my first Elgrand meet a week ago. I must say, the owners I met are a great bunch, and this forum on the whole is really welcoming. I'm not totally clued up with mechanics, but I can get by. Having reliable sources of information and some real solid experience within the group really changes the game of Elgrand ownership (apart from needing to earn another 10 grand a year to keep the bastard on the road 😅😭).

Maybe we can have an Anxiety meet up? We'll all pull up into a car park and just sit in our buses with the curtains closed 😅.....sorry, that's the coping mechanism slipping out.
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Now you've managed to raise my anxiety & really stress me out...

I've got no curtains...😰
 
after my wife past away I look forward to the meets to meet other people as I do not have visitors at home I do belong to the Benarty Preservation Heretive Group This area was a big mining area with a lot of history and they all love my car hoping the weather gets better for more meets
 
Ian H said:
One weird trait I have is remembering number plates of cars that I own as well as some family and friends.

My cars in order of ownership:

1. Mini, THK570N
2. Escort HHK344Y
3. Range Rover DJI 7112 / WDV 942S
4. Range Rover C416 LBD
5. Freelander YB04 XOA
6. Range Rover L714 KSS
7. Freelander SO53WYB / NO51 ANH
8. Elgrand NO51 ANH - can't remember original as I transferred my plate pretty soon after I got it.

My Parents cars:

1. Cortina TDN722H / TDN 772H - it accidentally carried both for a while - think the first was the correct one..
2. Maxi SVY346N
3. Astra AUM828X
4 Maestro H103TNP
5 Astra H161 WCA
6 Yaris - can't actually remember that one.

Others:

Best friends first car (concurrent with my mini) Fiesta, LMM537W
Church minibus which my Dad drove regularly D898PVX

Can't really remember any others, those are just off the top of my head. What surprises me is that in most other respects my memory is pretty crap.
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haha i do this too lol
 
I've always been a bit like this. The internet has been an absolute boon.

Book an appointment online, order food, get advise about a specialist topic like intensely cool but misunderstood cars, hunt down elusive parts and spend hours chatting to a knowledgeable parts guru to get them no problem.

Try to do it in person, absolute hell.

Banter about life, cars, love and booze online doddle, go to the pub, I'm the quiet guy in a corner with a pint just saying the odd hello to people I know/recognise. Except pub quizzes, playing solo or being asked to join a team, I fly.

Book gig tickets months in advance for 3 bands I've loved for years and finally get a chance to see, come the weekend of the event, too hot and it is a suntrap amphitheatre, too wet and the field will be a swamp. End up giving the tickets away.
 
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