WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!

[Up&Dn]

A million years ago when i worked for JLR Halewood ( or Fords, as it was ), just as the last Escort van rolled off the production line, we moved over to the manufacture of the Jaguar X-Type or X400 as it was known.

To ensure prototype production went smoothly they sent teams of design engineers to Halewood from Gaydon to assise with any 'issues'.

To cut a very long story short, i asked that question that Gwilo has posed to an Engineer assigned to my section...

The Engineer replied, " We have no interest in the complexity and or expense of changing timing chains and tensioners because the components have been 'safely' designed to well out live the warranty period of the vehicle.
After this period it makes good business sense for our customers to purchase a new car from our Brand, obviously, if we designed a car that lasted forever, we would be out of business."

I wasn't sure whether he was taking the pi55, but he wasnt.

We went on to make over 370,000 X400s at Halewood, I wonder how many of them have since died from timing chain failure.


PS. Just off topic - we, as in all Ford PAG employees were taken in batches to a huge hall to be brainwashed by the top brass as to how important the X400 launch was for Halewoods future, it went on and on and on.....and on.

At the end of the torture the main man from Ford PAG ( he was a bit like the King, with a gaggle of ar5e lickers throwing rose petals everywhere he walked ) anyway he said, "Any questions?"

There were a few questions, one being, "Have we missed our break, if so I want to see my steward ".....that wasn't received well.

But, one guy asked the King, " Why have we not got a 2WD or a Diesel variant in the X400 range ? " ( as we didn't at the time of launch )

The King replied, " We don't want a 2WD or Diesel option in the X400 range as is would ' cheapen and dirty ' the brand."




In 2009 the diesel front wheel drive X type was introduced.

My service route at the time was around that area.

I think I looked after a lift in an adjoining company who made the seats if memory serves.

I sometimes parked opposite when partaking in my tiffin and could see the Xtypes drive out of the factory in such quick succession....fascinating

 

[WhatsThisFor]

My service route at the time was around that area.

I think I looked after a lift in an adjoining company who made the seats if memory serves.

I sometimes parked opposite when partaking in my tiffin and could see the Xtypes drive out of the factory in such quick succession....fascinating

I think the seats came from Decoma which is now Adient, which was almost connected to the JLR plant.

Back in 2002-2005 the plant was building 200/220 units per shift on a two shift rotation, seven days a week and each and every car had to be test driven around a selected road route in Halewood, also there was a shake and rattle obstacle course as the cars exited the finesse area, if a car was not test driven, it couldn't leave the plant.

At the time these drivers jobs were called progression or service jobs, basically you needed over 40 years service and you were unable to do anything other than light duties.
There were the odd few younger drivers and they were usually Shop Stewards or family of Shop Stupids.

 

[johnjamesE51]

My workmate could had died today as the roof we were working on collapsed ... health n safety my hairy arse ... don't try roof surfing .... gravity will always win ... no broken bones just bruised n battered ...

It's the "Hairy arse" part that got me sorry to laugh ...I know it's a serious issue....i agree health and safety is a fallacy in some industries... They're all saving money at the expense of people safety... same can be said of the food industry.... Sad really

 

[Trekster]

The Engineer replied, " We have no interest in the complexity and or expense of changing timing chains and tensioners because the components have been 'safely' designed to well out live the warranty period of the vehicle.

They always think they know better

 

[WhatsThisFor]

They always think they know better

Oh, but they do, very aloof and opinionated - until something goes wrong, then they become experts at pointing the finger of blame in anyone’s direction other than their own.

I was attending a production meeting and all the launch engineers were in attendance, the meeting was headed by an engineer who was in charge of production line and rail installation.

He had the best put down I’ve ever heard when he was interrupted by a Gaydon Launch engineer…

He said, “ On this occasion it is your turn to listen to me.
I’ve sat and listened to you often enough.
If you ( pointing to the guy who interrupted ) were so important today, then all the chairs would be facing you.”

 

[Manoerwar]

Technical authors who write car manuals especially on modern cars, Khal has an electric car and on a whim I decided to read the car manual as she has started asking me questions on functions. Kin ell, I did manage to wade through it and (as an old engineer and previous life mechanic) it mostly made some sense. I have no idea how a non-technical person could wade through this. Also as it has some smart functions that need to be activated in an app, well that's ok, what's not ok is that these functions will only work in the app if you......wait for it.......pay a monthly subscription. WTF is going on, buy a car with functions that you can only use with a subscription

 

[Nevillerover]

I read that this is what some manufacturers are going to do, BMW, Merc perhaps?
When you buy your car, it will have a load of things fitted as standard that don’t work, for example, heated seats but then you pay a subscription to have them enabled, possibly remotely. I suppose it standardises production to keep costs down, makes the headline price of the car appear cheaper and provides ongoing revenue.
However, 100% you will be able to buy one and then get a black market hack to unlock everything. Then when you go for a service they will say your warranty is void and maybe they will refuse to service it because they will say the hack could affect other car functions and they don’t want to be responsible.
So, the £70K car you bought which would maybe have been £80K if extras had been ordered in the old way is now hacked, fully functional but almost worthless as no official dealer is allowed to touch it.
I just made most of this up of course but it is a fact that subscriptions are coming so who knows?

 

[LeStempy]

My motorhome has a 4G modem built in that it uses to tell Ford everything that happens to it. It emails me with such information as low adblue level, engine oil life etc. I can use the Ford app to see its location and can remote start it, sound the horn, turn on the lights etc from the app. This is all free but there is also the possibility to use the modem as an internet access point for an eyewatering subscription fee which I can't imagine anyone would pay for.

I think most new vehicles feature this kind of tech. You'll probably find that one day there will be an electronic service life limit that will render the vehicle unusable after a preset time or mileage so you have no choice but to buy another and it'll be marketed as a safety feature.

 

[WhatsThisFor]

Extremely rare manual E52

 

[Geoff130]

My motorhome has a 4G modem built in that it uses to tell Ford everything that happens to it. It emails me with such information as low adblue level, engine oil life etc. I can use the Ford app to see its location and can remote start it, sound the horn, turn on the lights etc from the app. This is all free but there is also the possibility to use the modem as an internet access point for an eyewatering subscription fee which I can't imagine anyone would pay for.

I think most new vehicles feature this kind of tech. You'll probably find that one day there will be an electronic service life limit that will render the vehicle unusable after a preset time or mileage so you have no choice but to buy another and it'll be marketed as a safety feature.

Scary thought, and probably closer than we would like to think. What else might it report?

 

[LeStempy]

All sorts. Whether you are wearing a seat belt for instance.

 

[WhatsThisFor]

Stuart Leslie Goddard, has fallen ill, many of his concerts have had to be cancelled - a spokesman has said his condition is desperate but not serious.

But Stuart is Adamant that he will still be able to stand and deliver at a later date.

 

[LeStempy]

Well, he's just a goody two shoes.

 

[Blaggard]

I'm sure he will be able to stand and deliver again soon

 

[Lpgc]

Cranking but not starting... It just happened to me

I left the ignition on for too long without the engine running and the battery was almost flattened, it would crank the engine slowly but not quickly enough to start it. I pushed my luck by attempting to start it while it was cranking slowly too many times (more than 4 times I believe)...

Then I used a jump pack that has an on/off switch (so no sparks when connecting) and it would crank easily fast enough to start the engine but didn't even attempt to fire... The reason why it wasn't attempting to fire will be because the immobiliser has kicked in due to too many unsuccessful attempts at starting, it has the P1610 lockout code and the other couple of associated error codes (I forget which but close in number to 1610). The other codes can be cleared using my code reader but the P1610 remains.

I believe I can fix this by using NDS2 to reprogram a key. But before I go to the trouble of removing the instrument cluster to find the BCM number to enter into the website to get a pin code, there must be another way? Maybe use the physical key to lock/unlock the doors, push the door lock/unlock button, turn the ignition key on/off (with key in ignition or without key in ignition)..? That's the question, what is the 'procedure' without taking the instrument cluster out?

I currently have the battery disconnected and on a fast charge. Plan is to leave it disconnected for half an hour then reconnect it and see if things are still the same. Failing that I hope some of you have some 'procedure' suggestions. Failing that it looks like I'll be taking the instrument cluster out lol.

I'm pretty sure I haven't blown any ECU's up and it's not a cam or crank sensor problem

 

[Highway Dave]

Cranking but not starting... It just happened to me

I left the ignition on for too long without the engine running and the battery was almost flattened, it would crank the engine slowly but not quickly enough to start it. I pushed my luck by attempting to start it while it was cranking slowly too many times (more than 4 times I believe)...

Then I used a jump pack that has an on/off switch (so no sparks when connecting) and it would crank easily fast enough to start the engine but didn't even attempt to fire... The reason why it wasn't attempting to fire will be because the immobiliser has kicked in due to too many unsuccessful attempts at starting, it has the P1610 lockout code and the other couple of associated error codes (I forget which but close in number to 1610). The other codes can be cleared using my code reader but the P1610 remains.

I believe I can fix this by using NDS2 to reprogram a key. But before I go to the trouble of removing the instrument cluster to find the BCM number to enter into the website to get a pin code, there must be another way? Maybe use the physical key to lock/unlock the doors, push the door lock/unlock button, turn the ignition key on/off (with key in ignition or without key in ignition)..? That's the question, what is the 'procedure' without taking the instrument cluster out?

I currently have the battery disconnected and on a fast charge. Plan is to leave it disconnected for half an hour then reconnect it and see if things are still the same. Failing that I hope some of you have some 'procedure' suggestions. Failing that it looks like I'll be taking the instrument cluster out lol.

I'm pretty sure I haven't blown any ECU's up and it's not a cam or crank sensor problem

Try the old faithful method simon
When battery is back on , if it’s still the same then make sure everything is shut ( doors windows etc) , lock the bus at the drivers door and walk away for twenty minutes, you never know your luck

 

[Lpgc]

Try the old faithful method simon
When battery is back on , if it’s still the same then make sure everything is shut ( doors windows etc) , lock the bus at the drivers door and walk away for twenty minutes, you never know your luck

On a few occasions (not recently) there was just a click when I came to start the engine on a morning, only due to a loose battery connection but after this the engine wouldn't start using the keyfob, I'd need to use the key in the ignition and maybe even lock/unlock the car before using the key, then the keyfob would start the engine again too. But this situation today is different because the battery was too flat to crank the engine quickly enough to start it. Wish I'd have thought-on about the 4 attempts immobiliser now! Must be a way without digging the cluster out... Maybe like you say just leave it for a while, but is there another key/pedal/door locks dance procedure..?

 

[Bal]

I had my battery go flat on Friday, while trying to work out my heater fan issue. I had the door open so the interior lights were on, and I kept switching the ignition on to check the fan without starting the engine. As it was getting dark I still had the interior lights on, and guess what, when I tried to start it, like yours it turned the engine over but not enough to start it. I did try it a few times until it wouldn't turn the engine and just clicked. I don't know how many times I tried to start it like this, but I had no idea of a 4 attempts lock down!

Luckily when I connected my NOCO it fired up straight away.

Hopefully when you put your battery back on it will start. Good luck Simon.

 

[Lpgc]

Cranking but not starting... It just happened to me

Fixed it now. Did take the instrument cluster and metal bracket out to access the BCU to see the other side of it to read the code to put into the website to get the pin to reprogram the key ... But it's done.

Also while in there I took the opportunity to sort something that's bugged me since I fitted the mph overlay, the overlay wasn't designed for cruise control models so the cutout area that normally shows gear selection wasn't wide enough to show all the radar cruise info... I've just taken a sharp blade and cut the overlay in-situ so I can now see all the cruise info. But whilst doing that I accidentally popped the speedo dial off lol. I'm now going to look up Stempy's info on dashboard self diagnostics which moves the speedo to certain speed readings without needing to drive the car.

 

[WhatsThisFor]

Instrument Panel

Hi All, haven't been on here a while. Originally from the north east and joined the group a few times on meets/barbeques etc coming over from Barnard Castle. I now live over in Northern Ireland. However, govt run MoT centres here and go by the book. It seems not having Mph & Kph on your...

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