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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)

A German guy approaches a prostitute. "I vish to buy sex vit you".

"OK" says the girl, "I'll charge €80 an hour".

"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky".

"No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky".

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large
bedsprings and a duck caller.

"I vant you to tie ze springs to each of your limbs". The girl finds
This most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees.

"Now you vill get on your hans und knees" She duly does this, balancing
on the springs.

"You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you." She finds this
odd, but figures it's harmless, and the guy is paying.

It is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic
German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and
it is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say:
"That was totally amazing, what do you call that?"

"Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique"
 
How do you know when you are in an Australian Zoo?

There is a recipe under the animals description!!

No offence intended to our Australian members.
 
Surely you mean Chinese zoo
 
Did you hear the one about the deranged Elgrand owner? Stuck an octopus sticker on the back of his bus!

IMG_20200801_163545.jpg
 
Nah you just pulling one of my legs aren't you
 
for all you fishermen

il_794xN.2290612284_2i5u.jpgil_794xN.2223234493_8ww3.jpg
 
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