- Messages
- 9,419
- Reaction score
- 39,390
- Points
- 473
- Location
- Co. Durham
- First Name
- Andy
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
-
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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)
- Thread starter dognero
- Start date
- Messages
- 6,181
- Reaction score
- 23,118
- Points
- 478
- Location
- south yorkshire
- First Name
- Dave
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- Yorkshire
“One in four frogs is a leap frog.” 
- Messages
- 6,181
- Reaction score
- 23,118
- Points
- 478
- Location
- south yorkshire
- First Name
- Dave
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- Yorkshire
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!"
- Messages
- 9,419
- Reaction score
- 39,390
- Points
- 473
- Location
- Co. Durham
- First Name
- Andy
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
The boss asks his employee, “Why aren’t you working?”
The employee explains, “Sorry boss, I didn’t see you coming.”
The employee explains, “Sorry boss, I didn’t see you coming.”
- Messages
- 9,419
- Reaction score
- 39,390
- Points
- 473
- Location
- Co. Durham
- First Name
- Andy
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?
And more importantly, where is my hamster?
And more importantly, where is my hamster?
- Messages
- 6,181
- Reaction score
- 23,118
- Points
- 478
- Location
- south yorkshire
- First Name
- Dave
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- Yorkshire
I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me.
- Messages
- 9,419
- Reaction score
- 39,390
- Points
- 473
- Location
- Co. Durham
- First Name
- Andy
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
I have a very good feeling about my job interview today. The manager said they were looking for somebody responsible.
“You’ve found your man,” I responded, “whenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible!”
“You’ve found your man,” I responded, “whenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible!”
- Messages
- 6,181
- Reaction score
- 23,118
- Points
- 478
- Location
- south yorkshire
- First Name
- Dave
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- Yorkshire
Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
- Messages
- 9,419
- Reaction score
- 39,390
- Points
- 473
- Location
- Co. Durham
- First Name
- Andy
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- North East
Two mice meet and start chatting. “Look,” says one after a while, “I’ve got a new boyfriend!” and shows a picture on the mobile phone.
“OMG,” cries the other mouse, “that’s a bat!”
“What?! The guy told me he was a pilot!”
“OMG,” cries the other mouse, “that’s a bat!”
“What?! The guy told me he was a pilot!”
- Messages
- 1,154
- Reaction score
- 3,415
- Points
- 333
- Location
- Leeds
- First Name
- Shaun
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- Yorkshire
WOMAN: If you were my husband I would poison your coffee.
MAN: If you were my wife, I’d drink it.
A Greek taxi driver was having his eyes tested
“Can you read the second line?”he was asked.
“Read it?” Was the reply, “I know him.”
MAN: If you were my wife, I’d drink it.
A Greek taxi driver was having his eyes tested
“Can you read the second line?”he was asked.
“Read it?” Was the reply, “I know him.”
- Messages
- 920
- Reaction score
- 2,533
- Points
- 303
- Location
- HAMPSHIRE
- First Name
- robert
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
what do you call a fly with no wings? a walk
- Messages
- 2,772
- Reaction score
- 6,175
- Points
- 373
- Location
- Suffolk
- First Name
- Liz
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- East Anglia
It’s got to be done:
- Messages
- 360
- Reaction score
- 901
- Points
- 183
- Location
- Milton keynes
- First Name
- Dave
- Elgrand
- E50
- Region
- South East
Just got back from waitrose,was gonna cook my wife a special meal but didnt have enough money....the caviar was really expensive and the venison was just dead deer
- Messages
- 920
- Reaction score
- 2,533
- Points
- 303
- Location
- HAMPSHIRE
- First Name
- robert
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
my dog keeps chasing people on bikes it got so bad i had to take his bike away
- Messages
- 920
- Reaction score
- 2,533
- Points
- 303
- Location
- HAMPSHIRE
- First Name
- robert
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
a friend of mine said "what rhymes with orange" i said "no it doesn't"
- Messages
- 920
- Reaction score
- 2,533
- Points
- 303
- Location
- HAMPSHIRE
- First Name
- robert
- Elgrand
- E51
- Region
- South East
my boss told me to have a nice day --------so i went home