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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)

A young actor has just finished five years of theatre study and after two years of looking for work he goes home and says to his dad: " I've just got my first part in a play......I play the part of a man who has been married for 30 years"

His dad says " Stick at it son, maybe one day you'll get a talking part. "
 
What time does a Japanese army officer have his dental appointment?

14:30
 
Here is a word file if you want to print some off.
 

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  • Many three year olds have trouble staying within the lines.docx
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i remember my dad saying on holiday in the South West in the mid 1970's... Jeees look at the price of fuel here Janet, nearly 50p per gallon!!! In his 3.0 Granada that did worse mpg than an Elgrand.

Heh, 50p per gallon would be less than 12p per litre but at the time that was a ridiculously high price.

With the caravan on the back at 10mpg and at those prices it would have cost about £35 in fuel to get from here to Newquay in Cornwall bit we used to go all the way to the South coast an extra 60 miles and £6 aargh! o_O

Edit - Pity I was only a little kid at the time... Because more recently I've converted loads of Ford 3L Essex engines to run on LPG at half price of petrol 😃
 
Last edited:
Lpgc said:
i remember my dad saying on holiday in the South West in the mid 1970's... Jeees look at the price of fuel here Janet, nearly 50p per gallon!!! In his 3.0 Granada that did worse mpg than an Elgrand.

Heh, 50p per gallon would be less than 12p per litre but at the time that was a ridiculously high price.

With the caravan on the back at 10mpg and at those prices it would have cost about £35 in fuel to get from here to Newquay in Cornwall bit we used to go all the way to the South coast an extra 60 miles and £6 aargh! o_O
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I remember seeing 99.9p a gallon in Leeds as a kid when visiting my aunty. My dad, grunting and groaning said put a tenners worth in and ask them for a 1p credit note....
 
RuskinStreet said:
I remember seeing 99.9p a gallon in Leeds as a kid when visiting my aunty. My dad, grunting and groaning said put a tenners worth in and ask them for a 1p credit note....
Click to expand...
In the early to mid 80's when we were on holiday on Shell Island in Wales my dad used to ask me to take his car, drive into the nearest local town Llanbedr, fill up 2 x 5 gallon boat fuel tanks with petrol, buy 8 cans of beer and go back to him... by myself, when I was 13, and give him the loads of change from the 2 x £20 notes he'd send me with.
 
I can remember filling up my wife's Suzuki Cappucino for about £21 and it lasting a couple of weeks.
 
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