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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)

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Lpgc said:
In a meeting with Americans, tell them you're just going outside to smoke a fag...

edit - And you're feeling a bit nippy. And that's the balls-out truth.
Click to expand...
😂
 
WhatsThisFor said:
How stupid is that, who would put a kickstand down when leaning the bike on a post ? Idiot.
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He's not even using the kick stand also...its semi deployed...the bell end.

You can see the shadow of it on the floor.

Or maybe it's an early warning system if someone approaches

"Get back yer bastard or I'll break yer legs"

Max n Paddy.
 
This one came from my 11 year old, the boys were obsessing about going to KFC, I told them that we couldnt because of my cat allergy, after a while one of them asked why, and I explained that KFC stood for Kentucky Fried Cats, which they actually seemed to accept until my youngest asked what was in McDonalds and my wife said "Clowns". Anyways, my 11yr old came up with:
Q. How do cannibals manage to get their 5 a day?
A. Eat a family of vegetarians
Which I thought was pretty good - and infinitely better than his usual poo related punchline
 
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