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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)

It's easier to have an argument with a knife than it is your wife because at the end of the day the knife always has a point
 
Two women walking home late from the pub decided to stop off for a wee in the local cemetery... the first lady wiped herself dry using her knickers the second one used a wreath
The following day their husbands were talking in the pub when the first husband says he's worried about his wife.. the second husband asks why... to which the first husband replied saying his wife came home without any knickers on
The second husband says well im worried about my wife... she came home with a condolence card stuck between her bum cheeks..it said were sorry you had to go.. we had such great times... you were so much fun... from all the lads at the fire station 🤭🤭🤭
 
A woman sends her husband a text on a cold winters night saying windows frozen

The husband replies.. pour some hot water over

10 minutes later the wife replies back saying that the computer is now f#*ked
 
My mate asked me why I didn't go through with my wedding

I told him it was because I couldn't stop thinking about his wife

He then called me all the names under the sun

I told him to chill out.. I was just afraid that I might end up with the same bad luck as he had
 
2700042d9e2ad4728c73273d46725454.jpg
Click to expand...

What about when you run out of kids??? 😅
 
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