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Lets have a clean joke thread. Laughter heals as they say. (NO NASTY, OBSCENE OR COVID19!)

A man calls up the doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife is going into labour and her contractions are coming really fast. What should I do?"
“Is this her first child?" he asked.

"No, this is her husband." 😂
 
Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is ****** and I am an alcoholic’ 🤷‍♂️
 
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. 😂
 
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. 😎
 
Padrino said:
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. 😎
Click to expand...

I can honestly say that in my entire life I have never faked a sarcasm.
 
Hi Breadman - Didnt know you were related to my wife - she takes photos like that - half a person everytime.
 
Is it right what i've just heard
Thieves in Bradford are now "upon nicking your wheels" chocking your bus up on Books instead of bricks ?
Sorry Bradford-------kids round here have been doing this for years :innocent:
 
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