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General Post regards Meets/Events (Social Anxiety)

Karl

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Karl
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It has come to my attention in recent weeks that we have quite a high number of members who don't attend meets due to social anxiety issues.

I would just like to say that, when I set up EOC, social anxiety wasn't a BIG thing for me, although it is something I think I've always struggled with. I used to be able to go to random car meets and enjoy them, but the last non EOC meet I went to, I lasted 15 mins before rushing off in a sweaty panic.

I am not sure what has brought on my social anxiety issues, but it is a major factor in my life and there are a lot of situations I will come up with excuses to avoid if possible.

I would also like to say, however, that I have never, not once, had any social anxieties when it comes to an EOC meet. I don't know whether that's because I run the club, and therefore most people know who I am before I get there, or just the fact that everyone I've met from this club has been fantastic.

I say that "because I own the club, everyone knows me"... they know of me... they don't know me. So a lot of the times people talk to me and don't realise who I am.

So, for all those of you who have put off meets or events because of these anxieties, try and face your fear, because in all my time being in the "car scene" I have never met a more engaging, welcoming, friendly bunch of people as I have through this club.

If you don't feel you can dive straight in to a big show like Jap Show / JAE where, along with 10-20 (or more) Elgrand owners being in attendance, you have thousands of other people to face as well... then try a local meet. There are a few springing up now all over the place and they are a great way to break the cycle of fear that controls you. Local meets, often attended by up to 10 members (occasionally more) are a small, informal catch up between people who speak on the forum/facebook/however on a regular basis.

I will also use this post as an opening to anyone here who is struggling with such anxieties to drop me a PM and we'll have a chat about it. Sometimes confiding in a complete stranger on the internet is easier than opening up to your nearest and dearest. That choice is yours, I'm just letting you know the offer is there.

If we can start increasing show/event/meet numbers by helping our members with psychological barriers, then we've done more than just provide a technical resource to keep your cars going.

I would also like to draw attention to two people (who will not be named) who attended JAE last year that BOTH suffer with Social Anxiety issues. That was their first meet, and it was a big one. 48 Elgrand owners and thousands of other car owners all together in one place. Both of those people thanked everyone who attended for helping them to feel welcome and involved in activities and conversations. Suffice to say, they will both be back again this year.

We can help - and if you need it, don't be afraid to ask for it.
 
feel much the same and have never had a problem with this group very friendly and welcoming
 
The Sedgefield meet was the first ever time I had been to a car meet let a lone put my motor on show.
I must say that I was very anxious about meeting all of the rest of you, especially knowing the wealth of knowledge you have and that I had only been on the site a few months.
I have a crap memory when it comes to remembering names and faces too.
After finding this car show and posting it on here I was then asked " you going?" Well I could hardly say no could I.
So with a little trepidation I said yes.
To be honest everyone was very very welcoming and great to chat with.
I never felt at any point that I was in an awkward situation. (apart when I had to leave early to take my brother home for work)
Very friendly people and a welcoming atmosphere.
I had a great day.
Thanks to everyone.
My advise would be to get yourself to at least one and see how you go.
You don't have to put your car on show just turn up and chat.
Who knows the next time you might want to take your put car and stay all day or weekend.
 
Nice one Karl, I hope to meet some of you at some point.
Talking shite to important people is key element of my job, Professors, Pro Vice Chancellors, or caretakers and cleaners they're all the same to me. But it wasn't always that way.
 
Hi All!!! Keith here 😎 I am looking at getting more involved with things on the forum as I am just about to go over my little e50 bus and get her in to shape. I would like to come along on some meets, as well as get to know some people with an interest in the Elgrand hope to see some of you soon😀
 
@Keith - where you from? There are some great meets being planned all over the place at the moment.

Plus, there are 2 car shows that EOC have stands at if you can make either of them - JAE on 31st August, and Jap Show Finale on 22/23 September.
 
Hi Karl. I'm in a little village in North Yorkshire called cowling. I am looking at bringing the family along if that's ok . Where about a is the JAE meet?
 
Hi Keith. There are quite a few things going on over the next few months. I've shared the listings below if you fancy attending any of them. There is a link to each meet so you can see the particular details of each.

North East meet on 14th July (just a day meet, not a car show, and no camping). CLICK HERE

Midlands meet on 15th July (just a meet, although there is a show at the same place on the day if you want to look around) CLICK HERE

Yorkshire meet on 15th/16th September (camping meet, not a car show). CLICK HERE

JAE is a 3 day car show starting 31st August to 2nd Sep - for details CLICK HERE

Jap Show Finale is a 2 day car show on 22nd/23rd Sep - for details CLICK HERE
 
Sadly, mine probably won't be here for a while yet but I do plan to get out an about when it's on the road :)
 
its very simple if someone says there going to be at a meet then be there if you don't want to go or not sure then don't say your gonna be there simple
 
Sadly, mine probably won't be here for a while yet but I do plan to get out an about when it's on the road :)

Doesn't mean you can't attend a meet and have a look round other member's rides to give you some idea.

It's different for the car shows, as your Elgrand will be on display, but for meeting other members, we've often had people turn up in different cars just to have a nosey and get to know fellow members :)
 
Doesn't mean you can't attend a meet and have a look round other member's rides to give you some idea.

It's different for the car shows, as your Elgrand will be on display, but for meeting other members, we've often had people turn up in different cars just to have a nosey and get to know fellow members :)

That's very true and it certainly would make sense. I'll check for the events in the South East and get the Subaru Estate (almost a squashed Elgrand shape) there at some point :) thanks @Karl
 
Hi yes I'm up for the Yorkshire meet and camping should be free for the dates. Hope to see a few of you there.
 
What a great thread @Karl. I was well up for our Yorkshire Rally when Rob P and I were arranging it (You cannot not go when you helped set it up!) o_O I recently recognised that I often cancel or decline invites. Being in a band I don't get stage fright so I couldn't possibly have social anxiety!. Anyway, upshot is I do struggle with joining in with what seems like a group of people who all know each other! After setting up the new awning and tea Steve says "come on, lets go to Robs gazebo :eek: I had the excuse to wash up for a bit etc so off he went. I then walked the dog round the site. When I couldn't faff about anymore I took a deep breath and joined the group who immediately made me feel welcome and at home. As @Karl says, face your fears cos its better than sitting in your awning ;-)
 
In all honesty @Easy Rider - you could not have started off with a better bunch of people. @RobP and his amazing family seem to be the heart of every meet they attend. Social butterflies who just talk to anyone and everyone about anything. They are so welcoming and friendly as well, it's pretty damn hard not to like them.

But thank you for bringing this up, and for admitting to the realisation that social anxiety is a factor in your life.

It seems strange, but being in a band, you may not get it because... although you are performing in front of those people, you know they are there to see you, and hear you, so you have a sense of why you're there. But when you go to a car meet, and you assume that everyone is going to know more than you, you're scared of saying the wrong thing, being mocked etc... it becomes very very hard to actually get into it.

From the video's I've seen, you soon waded through that and fully engaged with everyone who attended... and I cannot stress that enough to people.

Often the biggest hurdle is also the simplest one. Just talking to someone.

I am now often too busy at meets and events to spend any time with one person, which I don't really like to be honest. I feel like I'm being rude or dismissive of people, when in actual fact, the person who just started a conversation with me has probably caught me moving from one place to another place in the middle of a conversation with someone else... and then I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

It's why these camping weekends, and overnight shows/events are so much better for me... it gives me a real opportunity to chill out and spend time talking to new faces and helping to integrate them to the group.

Cannot wait for Santa Pod this weekend. Another night of BBQ, laughs, drinks and more laughs :D
 
It has come to my attention in recent weeks that we have quite a high number of members who don't attend meets due to social anxiety issues.

I would just like to say that, when I set up EOC, social anxiety wasn't a BIG thing for me, although it is something I think I've always struggled with. I used to be able to go to random car meets and enjoy them, but the last non EOC meet I went to, I lasted 15 mins before rushing off in a sweaty panic.

I am not sure what has brought on my social anxiety issues, but it is a major factor in my life and there are a lot of situations I will come up with excuses to avoid if possible.

I would also like to say, however, that I have never, not once, had any social anxieties when it comes to an EOC meet. I don't know whether that's because I run the club, and therefore most people know who I am before I get there, or just the fact that everyone I've met from this club has been fantastic.

I say that "because I own the club, everyone knows me"... they know of me... they don't know me. So a lot of the times people talk to me and don't realise who I am.

So, for all those of you who have put off meets or events because of these anxieties, try and face your fear, because in all my time being in the "car scene" I have never met a more engaging, welcoming, friendly bunch of people as I have through this club.

If you don't feel you can dive straight in to a big show like Jap Show / JAE where, along with 10-20 (or more) Elgrand owners being in attendance, you have thousands of other people to face as well... then try a local meet. There are a few springing up now all over the place and they are a great way to break the cycle of fear that controls you. Local meets, often attended by up to 10 members (occasionally more) are a small, informal catch up between people who speak on the forum/facebook/however on a regular basis.

I will also use this post as an opening to anyone here who is struggling with such anxieties to drop me a PM and we'll have a chat about it. Sometimes confiding in a complete stranger on the internet is easier than opening up to your nearest and dearest. That choice is yours, I'm just letting you know the offer is there.

If we can start increasing show/event/meet numbers by helping our members with psychological barriers, then we've done more than just provide a technical resource to keep your cars going.

I would also like to draw attention to two people (who will not be named) who attended JAE last year that BOTH suffer with Social Anxiety issues. That was their first meet, and it was a big one. 48 Elgrand owners and thousands of other car owners all together in one place. Both of those people thanked everyone who attended for helping them to feel welcome and involved in activities and conversations. Suffice to say, they will both be back again this year.

We can help - and if you need it, don't be afraid to ask for it.
 
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