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Bullying & conduct on the forum

Karl

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It has been brought to my attention that there are a number of members who have left this forum due to internet bullying.
From what I can gather this has been going on for a long time and has been softly disguised to keep off the radar of the admin team.

This behaviour is NOT acceptable. I don't give a shit how long you have been a member of EOC, if you have been using the forum to undermine, belittle and bully other members regardless of how long they have been a member, then you will be banned instantly and without regret.

I have had ONE report from a member who stepped up. In order to corroborate what I have been told, I need others to step forward because I don't know who you are. All I know is that although you may not interact as much or at all any more, but you still check in to see how things are going.

I will get to the bottom of this and action will be taken against those people. Depending how deep this goes, I may involve the police now that internet bullying is identified as a crime.

This is getting to the last straw for this club. Up until a couple of years ago EOC was a dream to run, now it's a nightmare. Depending on how this goes depends just how much of a future this club has as we know it.

If you believe you are one of the people who are being called out here, then it's better for you to come to me before any potential victims come forward.

Lastly, if no one comes forward, I cannot take this further and things will continue as they are. If you are the victim of what appears to be targeted bullying from numerous other members, you MUST let me know, else nothing can be done.

I really hope this is enough to save this club from falling into complete disarray.
 

Silverking

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That’s a bit of a shocker , cannot say I have noticed any substained targeting of one member by another
Maybe DM have been sent , either way I hope it’s stamped out pronto
Real shame the way the OC is being rocked of late 😕
 

Kermit

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Holy crap that's horrible. I used to be on here a lot but not so much these days, I also felt I had a few issues but managed to sort them so I feel better these days.
 

Dave Marshall

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Really sorry to hear this happening on here I am not excusing it but maybe the lack of social interaction and Covid is making members react more strongly to things. But agree with Karl entirely. Maybe the members who have upset others should be invited privately to apologise to the upset member via the admins. If in doubt use the report button the Admins have not the time to spot every misdemeanor.
 
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Pippa

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Holy crap that's horrible. I used to be on here a lot but not so much these days, I also felt I had a few issues but managed to sort them so I feel better these days.
There is a post for female members to say why they don't interact as much and what we can do to help make it easier for them. I don't know if you want to say your concerns on there or pm one of us admins :)
 

Kermit

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There is a post for female members to say why they don't interact as much and what we can do to help make it easier for them. I don't know if you want to say your concerns on there or pm one of us admins :)
Thanks, Pippa. Just popped a post in. x
 

Manoerwar

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Funny old thing, I have noticed a shift in tone in last five/six weeks or so and given that I only joined last August I have reduced engaging (not because of anything directed to me). It seem that the lockdown has affected certain people and subsequently they are venting a lot online and forgetting that their words can create a positive or negative reaction for those intended.

People forget that their words also influence their thinking and can alter the way they perceive any discussion or comment in the future. Sadly, all to often words underline a person s thoughts and therefore has a reinforcing effect. When your words are harsh, negative, inconsiderate, or judgmental then these are the aspects of your experience that are emphasised. It won’t be long before you have developed the habit of always focusing your thoughts on the negative side of life. You know what kind of a person this will turn you into – a miserable, depressing and mean spirited person who sees only the bad and not the good in others or in life. Trust me, this is a serious warning to watch out for, hold up a mirror and repeat your words and see how you feel and reflect upon them.

While I am at it, speaking before you think is a bad habit that can get you into trouble and cause friction in the most important areas of your life. Relationships will suffer or end, and most importantly, you will progressively lose confidence in yourself without realising it.

Remember your words and speech shapes your life. Time and again you will find yourself in situations where the outcome depends on what you say, how you say and when you say it. Your words are a reflection of who you are. If your words are getting you into trouble, you’re showing others the very worst parts of you. You’re presenting yourself as being thoughtless, careless or just plain hurtful and most of all you are creating a bad experience for other members.
 

Karl

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That’s a bit of a shocker , cannot say I have noticed any substained targeting of one member by another
Maybe DM have been sent , either way I hope it’s stamped out pronto
Real shame the way the OC is being rocked of late 😕

If you do notice anything, feel free to report it. The admins rely on users reporting things as @Dave Marshall pointed out above. There once was a time when I could spend 6-8 hours a day posting on the forum (you've seen how many posts I have, and I've barely been active in the last 2 years). At that time I knew every member pretty much. I had a personal (albeit virtual) relationship with almost the entire member base. But as the club has grown and as my own life has become busier, I am not able to have that same relationship with everyone and I cannot see what's going on as much. I can't see the interaction, tone, subjective context of social interaction.

Whatever waves have hit the club in recent times, we can see them through. I'll steer the club back to where it needs to be.

Funny old thing, I have noticed a shift in tone in last five/six weeks or so and given that I only joined last August I have reduced engaging (not because of anything directed to me). It seem that the lockdown has affected certain people and subsequently they are venting a lot online and forgetting that their words can create a positive or negative reaction for those intended.

Thanks for letting me know that you've seen a shift in such a short timeframe. If only you could have experienced us at our best when all the members loved being here and spent more time here than they probably should have. You are right in that lockdown, COVID and the year we have all had has been testing and has changed people's temperaments, but that is no excuse to be shitty with each other.
EOC has always intended to be a welcoming place for all, a community NOT a club. I aim for us to get back there, but to do that we need the help and support of the members.
 

Karl

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Very sad to hear!!! I have used the forum a lot less the past year but thats down to more family commitments. I hope this can be solved!!

Nice to see you're name pop up bud. Hope things are well your end. We'll resolve the issue and we'll get the club back on track.
 

Mark L

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Whilst waiting to pick up my Elgrand (I get it tomorrow if you haven't already seen on another thread 😁) I have been checking in nearly every day, sucking up the knowledge and keeping up to speed on updates and I can honestly say that I haven't seen anything that I thought was in any way malicious so this is a real suprise. I've only ever encountered friendly and helpful interaction.
 

Karl

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Whilst waiting to pick up my Elgrand (I get it tomorrow if you haven't already seen on another thread 😁) I have been checking in nearly every day, sucking up the knowledge and keeping up to speed on updates and I can honestly say that I haven't seen anything that I thought was in any way malicious so this is a real suprise. I've only ever encountered friendly and helpful interaction.

I needed to hear that today, so thank you. I am hoping that this issues is isolated and can be dealt with swiftly and a line in the sand drawn for us to move forward and drive improvement through the club.
 

mikkb

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Whilst waiting to pick up my Elgrand (I get it tomorrow if you haven't already seen on another thread 😁) I have been checking in nearly every day, sucking up the knowledge and keeping up to speed on updates and I can honestly say that I haven't seen anything that I thought was in any way malicious so this is a real suprise. I've only ever encountered friendly and helpful interaction.
I second that. I've been a regular and just haven't picked up on anything of this nature. Maybe I'm Tim, nice but dim..
 

Karl

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I second that. I've been a regular and just haven't picked up on anything of this nature. Maybe I'm Tim, nice but dim..

Again, thank you. Feeling a little more positive about the place than I was a few hours ago.
 

Bob Edwards

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as stated above i seem to have missed the nasty side of some posts or im a bit thick skin and didnt notice as much keep up the good club reputation as a friendly place to be on its been great over the 2 years ive been on here
 

Chuchu

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@Karl you (as the rest of the admin team) should feel incredibly proud of what you have created here. I’ve always steered away from joining forums or being involved in them in anyway but from the short time I have been an active member (previously a lurker in the background) here I’ve have thoroughly enjoyed the interactions I have had, the knowledge I have gained and the support I have been offered. Stand up tall fella, chin up and crack on.


Funny old thing, I have noticed a shift in tone in last five/six weeks or so and given that I only joined last August I have reduced engaging (not because of anything directed to me). It seem that the lockdown has affected certain people and subsequently they are venting a lot online and forgetting that their words can create a positive or negative reaction for those intended.

People forget that their words also influence their thinking and can alter the way they perceive any discussion or comment in the future. Sadly, all to often words underline a person s thoughts and therefore has a reinforcing effect. When your words are harsh, negative, inconsiderate, or judgmental then these are the aspects of your experience that are emphasised. It won’t be long before you have developed the habit of always focusing your thoughts on the negative side of life. You know what kind of a person this will turn you into – a miserable, depressing and mean spirited person who sees only the bad and not the good in others or in life. Trust me, this is a serious warning to watch out for, hold up a mirror and repeat your words and see how you feel and reflect upon them.

While I am at it, speaking before you think is a bad habit that can get you into trouble and cause friction in the most important areas of your life. Relationships will suffer or end, and most importantly, you will progressively lose confidence in yourself without realising it.

Remember your words and speech shapes your life. Time and again you will find yourself in situations where the outcome depends on what you say, how you say and when you say it. Your words are a reflection of who you are. If your words are getting you into trouble, you’re showing others the very worst parts of you. You’re presenting yourself as being thoughtless, careless or just plain hurtful and most of all you are creating a bad experience for other members.
Very wise words @Manoerwar, much respect.
 
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dognero

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I am on here loads and I don't think I have seen bulling as such.
Yes I have seen comments that have disagreed with other peoples posts but nothing derogatory (hee hee that's a big word like marmalade :) )
People are all different and sometimes little thing upset some people more than others.
That's not to say it's right.
If I see something I don't like or think "oh that was not very nice"
Then the "ignore, block" approach is a far better approach than having a go back.
Maybe now that the club has grown do we need more Staff Members?
Who can then send a little pm to all the people involved and then edit the posts from the the members involved with words such as Being reviewed by the admin team.
Then removed completely if found to be derogatory.
Some might say this is a heavy handed big brother approach but bulling in any shape or form cannot and should not be tolerated.
This is just my opinion from a guy who take a lot before he bites.
 

DEANO14

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Firstly as a newbie ish and waiting for my Elgrand to arrive in Feb, I've never encountered any negativity or bullying towards me or other members. I joined this site last June and I think 12 quid is a bargain. Every member I've dealt with have been overly helpful, patient and most importantly they are all polite. Even with repetitive questions that sometimes get asked. I certainly hope and believe this bullying is isolated, and it doesn't ruin the club for the majority of the brilliant decent members that we have. As for excuses using lockdown and covid, well that doesn't cut it for me. Be polite and use your manners. If you have none just be quiet, and better still leave.
Let's hope 2021 brings more people to the club and we can all meet up sometime and thank each other for all of the advice.
Keep up the great work you are appreciated running this club I know for sure.
 
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